Update, ramblings, and weight status

Well, I’m trying to get over the last few hectic/emotional/crazy weeks. Time to get back into the routine. Eat less, eat better, work out regularly, and BLOG!

First, the great news. I weighed myself last night and I was 211!!!! I have officially lost 14 lbs since staring. Way to go me! The few days not working out last week, and the occasional (healthy) eating out (with small portion sizes) didn’t seem to have too much of a negative affect. Whew! However, I know that won’t always be the case, so back to the regular workouts.

I bought new sneakers this weekend. I ended up going to a quieter, more no-frills running store and they started with shoes THEY picked for me (no looking at the pretties on the wall), watched me run, then modified from there. They didn’t have fancy machines that measured how my stride worked, they actually used their eyes and their skill instead. And when I asked if I should get an insert, they told me I didn’t need any with the shoes I was getting, as they had plenty of support. Wow. The last place I went (roadrunner sports) totally pushed the extras, plus they were a lot less knowledgeable about the products. I think I know where I’ll be shopping again! If you care, it was Jock ‘n Jill, which I strongly recommend!

As losing is still an exciting and new prospect for me I have to share 2 things. I got a bit of road rash on the undersides of my um, breast, from my workout bra. I realized after a second day of issues that I needed to use a tighter fitting. Wierd! Cool! I’m getting smaller, so my clothes need to be tighter, too! And I’m still not able to believe that when I put on my belt with my jeans that I can go to the second set of holes and it doesn’t make me unable to breath when I sit down. Instead, the belt actually  holds my clothes up better when it fits more snuggly. Who knew?! It’s wierd to be in mental denial of physical changes. I’m so used to being a certain size that I can’t wrap my head about the idea that I’m changing! My mind hasn’t caught up with me yet!

Got a bunch of bike parts and bits and pieces and am looking forward to mr. maven working on my bike (we’re trading favors, massage for him working on it). Win win for both of us. He’s going to take the whole thing apart, regrease everything from the inside out, take out some surface rust, put on new inner tubes. Then I’ll get it tuned up. THEN, we’ll start riding! I so miss being in biking shape. I used to do long 2-3 hour bike trips all the time with a friend of mine. I’ve set a goal for myself – by the end of the summer, I want to be able to ride from my house down to Lincoln Park, then to Alki, under the West Seattle bridge, through downtown and Interbay into Ballard, then join up with the Burke Gilman trail and ride that through the UDistrict all the way up to Bothell. And back. I loved doing the short trip from the University District up to Bothell, stopping at a Starbucks up on the trail, then doing the same backwards. Eventually I’ll be able to do the whole thing from my house, which is twice the distance I used to ride regularly, up and back. I think the whole trip will up being 6 hours and about 60-70 miles. But I think it’s doable if I start riding regularly. I had at one point made it around Lake Washington, 60+ miles in 7 hours (that was about 7 years ago before my biking buddy went to grad school and I stopped riding).

So I have grand plans, I’m being relatively consistant and moderately successful losing weight. But I’m still lacking in a few areas. I continually keep being out of breath and having difficulty when I take any classes – they tend ot be more high aerobic activity. I can run for a sustained period of time, just not at a higher intensity. I hope this will continue to improve as my weight diminishes and I stick with the cardio. I’m 38 about to turn 39, so I should expect my body to be unable to recover from weight gain and inactivity as readily as it used to. I should mentione that I continue to see modest improvement in my running speeds. 4.5 seems like an utter snail’s pace to me now (my original starting pace). I am now starting at 4.7 and going up to 5.0 with no major issues. Above that and I start having trouble maintaining it (breath, not muscle). I keep doing fast sprints, even when I don’t want to, 6.0, 6.5, 7.0 and even the occasional 8.0!!! I do what I can.

Last time I attempted to lose weight (3 years ago), I was upset by the lack of progress. But I didn’t stick with it. This time, I have to say I’m looking forward to seeing how much I can improve with consistent cardio. Can I eventually get to the point that 5.5 is a doable basic speed? Will I ever be able to run 6.0 for more than 2-3 minutes? I’ve never applied myself to running for more than 3 months at a stretch. It’ll be interesting to see what improvements come with consistantly doing an activity.

Overall, I’m still emotionally tender and resentful about the last few weeks, but I have a good outlook when it comes to my personal health. Both mr. maven and I are in our own version of significant stress, but we are choosing to stick with the healthy routine. We both know it’s good for us, and actually a stress relief. It’s just hard to do at the end of a long, jarring day. But sometimes you just do. No think. Do. Because you know you need it, because you know it’s good for you, and because you just have to.

Next time I post it will be to address a wonderful blog award I was just given…. Until then, dietmaven out!

 

Where’ve I been?

The last 2 weeks have not been the best in the maven household. Well, technically, things are great – I’ve made big strides in paying off debt (above and beyond meeting my goal for the year), I’ve continued to eat fairly well and bring food for lunches. I have done the gym, though I took 3 days off (in a row, which I vowed never to do), which is partially related to why I haven’t been posting.

It’s been a difficult 2 weeks. It seems that the world is crazy and I’m seeing it front and center with all my co-workers. I have had more email arguments sent my way and shouting matches at work that you could possibly imagine! I’ve been close to tears on multiple occasions and I for the first time since my employment started at this company over 4 years ago, got seriously anxious last Monday about going in to work. Could I call in sick and avoid going in kind of anxious. Why is this going on? Hell if I know.

It seems like everything I do is wrong (for the person on the other end), or rubs people the wrong way. Everyone has been very stressed and at the breaking point in their own lives, when yours truly somehow comes on the scene. Anyway, not going into details, but it’s been a nasty psychologically challenging 2 weeks. My boyfriend also got rearended in my truck when coming to pick me up from work last week, too, so he’s dealing with the physical and emotional stress of recovering from an accident (while still not being recovered from a big one 2 years ago). And I had to open my 3rd claim in 4 years (all 3 not our fault!!!!), which I hate doing. Add in the stress of his being unemployed for the last full year, and you can see it’s been dicey at home, too. We had a big fight due to his emotional sensitivity, and that didn’t help. Everything’s fine now, but emotions are running high all over the place, me, my partner, my relationships at work. I’ve been kindof a wreck lately.

I normally don’t feel like I need a vacation. Going to my local Barnes & Noble, grabbing a book, and reading for a few hours is usually all I need (maybe once every week or so). Lately that doesn’t seem like enough. I have been thinking of quitting, but in this economy? Forget it. It’s only a temporary feeling, so I have to just ride out the bumps for now.

So you see, it’s been a really challenging time for me. I haven’t felt like I had anything to post about on the blog. Haven’t fallen off the wagon, but I got the point where I dug my heals in, and could not make myself go workout. I didn’t look forward to it, I had sore muscles from some new wierd exercises I tried in a kickboxing class, and I flat out didn’t want to go. So I didn’t. And then last night I made myself go again and I’m fine now.

Anyway, I hope the 2 week nastiness is over. I should be grateful that my manager thought I would benefit from a management seminar on how to effectively communicate with people, so I at least get 2 days away from the office on Monday and Tuesday, though planning to be gone for such a long period of time from my regular job has created its own stress. I should mention my going stems from a previous period of wierd relations with a close coworker. I talked to my manager about it a month ago, was something going on? We found out she was just seriously grumpy and unhappy with everyone due to a lot of personal stress (planning her marriage, relations with her family over the wedding, and some significant health issues she’s been dealing with, including surgeries). I seriously thought she hated me. Turns out she hated everyone, not me specifically. I hate seminars, I hate being told I have issues (ie, I need to go learn how to fix my inadequacies), so having discussed this with my manager, who sits next to me, I regret now. I have to go to this seminar because of it. I know he means only the best by it, but I still resent it.

I’ve told you about it. It’s over with, and I’m ready to move on. So what’s next? Well, despite the nasty hard rain outside this weekend in Seattle, I am planning a trip to pick up some bike parts to get my all-purpose bike in good shape for riding…very soon! I also need to get new sneakers today, and I may actually spring for the inserts. I’m heavy, and pounding on sneakers may not be the best for my feet if they feel flat or uncushioned, or worn. I haven’t ever gotten the inserts before, but maybe spending an additional $40 will be worth it. What’s that phrase, your feet are your most important piece of equipment? I think I read that in a running manual.

I did go out for dinner this week at a wonderful asian fusion restaurant, so it wasn’t unhealthy (and my meal was tofu based, even better). I ran out off bread and didn’t want to deal with making food, so Friday I brought no lunch, and went out instead. Again, ate healthily with a rice vermicelli bowl (bun) with raw vegetables and seared prawns. I did get an appetizer which was amazing, imperial crispy rice with fried tofu, which I split. I left not full and almost hungry, so I know it wasn’t too bad. And my friend talked me out of going for a high-calorie Starbucks coffee drink afterwards.

Lately, when thinking about going out and eating “off plan” meaning “not at home”, I try and keep it healthy. I try and go for healthy asian food, or if I go somewhere American, I don’t eat large portions and save half for lunch. It’s been working pretty well. Over the course of a week I don’t gain weight, so I’m not terribly upset.

I’ve also noticed that when I make my ginormous dinner plate salad, which I eat several times a week, I have been becoming full more quickly than I used to. That means I have too much food. It’s a mental struggle to be hungry and preparing food and know I don’t need the full amount, but be unable to cut the size down since I’m afraid to put less on my plate – there’s no way that reducing my portion sizes will keep me satisfied! Then I eat and I prove myself wrong by being full 3/4 of the way into it. This has been one of my biggest struggles lately. I’ve also realized that I can eat less during the day, too.

2 weeks ago bought apples that were crappy from the market. By buying a bag of smaller apples of a variety I normally wouldn’t eat, and trying to keep the cost down, I got apples that were basically mealy and not crisp. So I couldn’t force myself to eat them and stopped bringing them to work. I have been making 2 carrots cut up into sticks. I still eat my cheddar and a few crackers and raw almonds, but I’ve noticed I don’t always finish the cheese. I leave some for later, but sometimes don’t eat it. I’ve even only partially eaten my sandwich and left some for later. That later means I don’t eat my luna bar in the afternoon and that’s cut out 150-250 calories a day. I’ve gotten hungry and been ok waiting for a while, up to an hour or two, with significant hunger, and been able to deal with it. My body is getting used to the food changes and I’m getting more mentally comfortable with all the changes.

I’ll have more constructive stuff to talk about soon. I just needed to pull back from the world the last 2 weeks. I think I’m over that now, and I’ll be less silent going forward.

 

Week 8

Overview:
The week started out with a whimper. It didn’t end with one, but it certainly wasn’t a bang, either. I did ok workout-wise, but I haven’t been vigilant with eating, either. This week I haven’t experienced a gain, rather a complete holding steady, scale-wise. I feel like this week has been nothing but treading water. I’ve come out of this week with the knowledge that I need to be much more careful with my eating. I need to put my foot down when it comes to preparing food at home, meaning that if I don’t fully agree with what my boyfriend is preparing, to actually make something else, even if I’m exceptionally tired and want to veg on the couch.

A friend recently put it all in perspective: it’s easier to reduce your calories by 500 per day than it is to do that much more in a workout EVERY day. That’s a pretty hardcore hour-long workout! Yes, it would be easier to eat less. I have to accept that, which up to now I have been in denial about, and trying to avoid. I think this week is showing me that I can no longer avoid eating less.

So on to last week…

Exercise Recap:

Mon 2/21: Light workout, walked for 1 hour, nothing strenuous as I was recovering from a sore quad muscle. Tried a special eliptical (you can modify the stride to be from stair-stepping to really extended), not sure I liked it, too wierd, didn’t like the controlled movement, then switched to 20 minutes on the treadmill. Maybe 400 calories?
Tues 2/22: Took the night off. Very sore, even moreso than previous few days. Actually I should say I was hurt, not sore. There’s a difference.
Weds 2/23: Still suffering unhappy leg muscle, so I did a light workout, upper body weights and 20 minutes on the treadmill, nothing strenuous. I’m guessing 450 calories? Note: started my new upper body weight routine tonight! Hello testosterone room!
Thurs 2/24: Took the night off, wanted to make sure I was healed. Considered a fast run at the gym, decided to leave it for Friday night.
Fri 2/25: Cardio. 1 hour on the treadmill. Missing the full energy I thought I should have.
Sat 2/26: 1 hr, 50 minute walk first thing: 770 calories followed by an evening gym workout – 1 hour treadmill cardio, 450 calories. Total: 1230 calories! However, it left my muscles super fatigued.
Sun 2/27: 1 hour cardio on the treadmill. Didn’t do as much running as I wanted due to a lot of preexisting muscle fatigue. Looking into how to prevent that better this coming week.(Iron Chef’s secret ingredient: Skipjack Tuna).

Food. About that.

(please note that I wrote this several days ago, so the food-denial I mentioned above you can clearly see below).

Went out for dinner early in the week. Felt super tired either from not enough sleep and/or having a possible virus, low-grade. I had 2 days of dizziness and inner ear issues, but I never felt sick. It caught up with me and I really thought to myself “screw it” but at least didn’t eat anything horribly bad. And I kept my portion size reasonable. I did have a glass of wine that night, and it felt fabulous. Like usual, if I do splurge, and I do occasionally, it is never horrible, and never something I can’t bounce back from quickly [editor’s note: can you TASTE the denial?]

I continue to be on a mission to eat more vegetables with dinner, even to the point of making them in addition to my boyfriend’s cooking, when he cooks. I need to figure out a mechanism to exercise just a little bit more outside of the gym [see above!]. Unless I wake up earlier (NOT going to happen for this non-morning gal) to go for a walk, I probably won’t get much. Work doesn’t really allow for it, and anyway, I don’t really want to walk around an industrial park area where there’s nothing but cars and truck exhaust! The weekends I’ll just have to really seriously walk, maybe around the neighborhood, go for an hour walk at a local park, PLUS the gym, and/or go snowshoeing or hiking. Weekends are when I have the extra time to really do stuff!

That’s all to report, other than the fact that i’m getting really tired of my every day lunches. I think I got bored with the cheese I had this week, and I didn’t have many sandwiches, and I really like those. Instead I had leftovers (lentils & braised lamb shanks, or leftover restaurant chicken). I did start eating carrot sticks with my apple, which was great, I’ll be eating 2 carrots a day in addition to 1 apple, 2 ounces of full-fat cheddar, and 1 to 1 1/2 servings of nuts. Then my main lunch item, either a sandwich or leftovers, and possibly a luna bar or similar in late afternoon. It’s the s-a-m-e thing every day M-F, week to week.

Lately I have fallen back into being too tired/lazy to make breakfast. I haven’t been having my shake or oatmeal and just starting off snacking at 10-10:30 with the apple/carrot mixture. It’s been working ok so far, but I should probably start having the shake again, as cold as it makes me! It will be easier in summer, that’s for sure! [Editor’s note: I have been experiencing much higher levels of hunger and dissatisfaction with what I’m eating by not having breakfast. I have already gone back to making breakfast this week, and it’s working better].

Going Forward

Ok, back to current day & reality. I am still experiencing muscle fatigue, much more than I feel I should have. I’ll be researching that a little this week and seeing what I can do to improve this. I don’t know that my workouts will be improving much until this is resolved. Check in next week for the next installment…