Things I’ve committed to

16 Jan

Bad grammar, ending my title with a preposition. I’ve never understand that, and I disagree with that sentiment, but I digress.

Let’s start with my macro/uber goal. I weigh 225. My goal weight (picked at a whim) is 150. Now, I may be able to get to 140, but 150 is a nice round number. 75 lbs is a nice round number, and I like how neat things look on the written (er, electronic) page.

I was hoping I could do it in 1 year. Also a nice round number. Fictional, and made up, but I have no benchmark to use as a baseline. To make it that far, I need to lose about 1.5 lbs every week, about 6 lbs every month. Compared to the biggest loser, that’s nothing, pshaw, anyone can do that! Compared to past personal experience, that’s ambitious/impossible. But I can’t compare to past experience (er, failures?) [Editor’s note: starting a sentence with a prepositional phrase is also a no no that I often ignore].

I don’t know if I can maintain that number, or if I’ll do way better. What I do know is that to make such a goal achievable, I have to break it down into 2 micro goals, which all of you should be very familiar with:

* Eat less calories
* Expend more calories through regular exercise

Now to break those down even further, I have committed to working out at least 5 days per week. Realistically, that means I need to go to the gym pretty much every day. Thursdays I can’t go due to volunteering as a monitor at a local photography school. I get one other free day (which I will endeavor to not take unless I need it for something unforseen, or recovery time if I’ve worked out so hard my body is truly f’d up and unable to function). This also means that I should go to the gym every day but Thursday, except for those days I go hiking/snowshoeing.

Now on to the eating part. I suck at doing highly restrictive caloric eating. Sure, I can cut out the butter, stop having lots of slathered in olive oil/baked food, no more half and half in my coffee, and no more whipped cream on chocolate pudding! And no more pudding, either for that matter. No bags of chips. No fast food. No soda. However, I can’t have dinner plates that are half as full as they used to be. I can’t handle hunger.

Let me give you a little better insight into me. I have a pretty good self-image. I am not full of self-hate. I don’t belittle myself in my head about my choices. Instead, I love comfort. I love lounging on the couch in the morning for hours. I love indulgent brunches out on the weekend. I love having a heaping plate of food and I love finishing every bite and licking the plate clean (but only at home!). What I’m trying to say is that I really really love food. I love the feeling of a full stomach – it’s very satisfying! I also eat more than my boyfriend! When we cook and he doesn’t finish his food, I will finish it for him. That’s my downfall -I eat, and I eat too much. So it will be a struggle to cut back on the portion sizes. I hope that over time my stomach will get used to it and start getting smaller and that smaller portions will be more satisfying.

I am trying to reduce the calories for all meals, and make a slightly more sensible portion size for dinner. I can’t stand that going to bed hungry feeling. Even now, having the I’m no longer *hungry*, but I definitely don’t feel full is a mental challenge – I still want to go make a second plate of food to become full. I don’t care about sweets and dessert, but if I’mstill hungry I want that second portion of potato, polenta, and salad.

Dinner will always be my biggest downfall. Hopefully I’ll get the hang of it soon, but I know it will continue to be a challenge, and maybe over time I’ll get used to vegetables being steamed instead of having a (large) pat of butter on them! Will I be able to eat less in time?

I guess I’ve committed exercise more than I’ve committed to calorie-reduction, but I am trying in both areas.

Now I just have to buy a darn scale to have a better handle on my progress.

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Posted by on January 16, 2011 in Goals


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